


Fiery Pits of Hell

by insipid_rhyme



Series: Gallavich One-Shots [10]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M, Summer Fic, Sweat, mentions of rimmimg, petty fights, practically a drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 13:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15462777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insipid_rhyme/pseuds/insipid_rhyme
Summary: The heat makes everyone act strange... right?





	Fiery Pits of Hell

**Author's Note:**

> So it's winter here in Australia but I felt like writing a little summer one shot -- and as you guys know the shit I write is anything but ordinary. so. yeah. I wrote this in less than fifteen minutes and honestly I don't know how it happened.

Summer really was a pain in the ass. Mickey hated the heat -- he was Ukrainian for fucks sake, he preferred the cold over any other weather, and he hated summer more than any other season of the year. He was constantly sweating balls, meaning he had to shower more -- and he hated that, too. And with sweating comes smelling like shit, which he didn't really fucking care if he smelled bad, but when people around him smelled rank...

"Do you fucking have to have your arm up like that?" Mickey finally snapped after ten minutes of breathing in Ian's armpit odor, turning his icy glare on his boyfriend. "I can only ignore the stench coming from your pits for so long before I eventually pass the fuck out."

Ian raised a brow and lowered his arm from where it rested behind Mickey's shoulders. "You don't exactly smell likes roses either, Mick."

Mickey scoffed. "Yeah but I ain't rubbing it in your face, asshole." 

Ian threw his head back and laughed. "You literally did just that last night!"

"Did fuckin' what?" Mickey demanded. Ian raised his eyebrows. 

"You really don't remember when I ate you out for like, forty-five minutes last night? I'd think it was pretty memorable, considering I got you to come twice from my mouth alone."

"What has that got to do with anything?" 

Ian laughed. "It's summer, Mick, and usually people sweat a lot when it's hot, and the ass crack happens to cop a lot of that sweat."

Mickey's eyes squinted. "Oh, come the fuck off it, if my ass was that bad you wouldn't have shoved your face in it."

"It was pretty fucking bad," Ian said, shrugging. "Imagine if my armpit had an asshole and you shoved your face and tongue in it -- that's how bad your ass was."

Mickey's mouth gaped open, and then he balled his hand in a fist and punched Ian as hard as he could in the arm, ignoring his boyfriend's pained groan as he got up from the couch and stormed off to their shared bedroom, slamming the door. 

***

After his tantrum Mickey decided he would try and sleep to escape the heat and his stupid fucking boyfriend. They had a shitty air conditioner in the room, but it practically did fuck all -- he didn't even bother turning the thing on. He stripped off until he was only in his boxers then kicked the blankets to the end of the bed and laid down, trying to ignore the heat. His sweaty skin was sticking to the sheets. For fucks sake he hated summer. 

He kept swimming in and out of a restless sleep, but eventually he nodded off. He didn't know how long he had been sleeping for but he was woken by Ian crawling into bed behind him. He rolled his eyes under his closed lids and pretended to still be asleep -- he was still mad at him. Ian settled right behind him and sighed sleepily into his neck before he wrapped his arm around Mickey's waist and slid a little closer until his chest was pressed up against Mickey's back. Mickey gave up pretending to be asleep after thirty seconds. 

"It's too fuckin' hot to be cuddlin' me, asshat," Mickey grumbled, shifting slightly. He grimaced as the sheets clung to his damp skin. Fucking summer !

"Too bad," Ian mumbled into his neck, nuzzling it slightly. "I can't sleep without spooning you."

"Well I can't sleep with your hairy ass chest ticlking me!" Mickey hissed. He felt Ian's pout against his skin. 

"You were the one who made me stop shaving my chest," Ian pointed out, "You said it was hot."

"And it is," Mickey said, "Really hot, so hot that I can't fucking sleep, so you need to back the fuck up and give me three inches of space so I can go the fuck back to sleep."

"No thanks," Ian said, snuggling in even further, "Now shut the fuck up, m'trying to sleep."

Mickey groaned quietly and glared at the wall, which he could barely see in the dark, but he didn't give a fuck. He was going to give Ian the silent treatment until he backed off -- how dare he come in here after saying Mickey's ass was like an armpit with a hole and then snuggle up to him like nothing was wrong! Ian would soon realise he made a big fuckin' mistake -- what was that noise?

Mickey's eyes widened in disbelief when he realised the noise was Ian, snoring loudly into his neck. The fucker was already asleep! He clenched his jaw and shook his head. The fucking audacity of that fuckhead. 

He laid there in a puddle of sweat and anger, thinking of ways to get back at his idiot of a boyfriend, his thoughts scattered -- the heat was sending him insane. He didn't realise he was falling alseep until he heard Ian snuffling into his skin and felt drool drip down his neck, too tired to do anything about it. Ten seconds later he was deep asleep. 

***

Fuck... so hot... why was it so. Fucking. Hot.

He woke up slowly and unpleasantly, blinking sleepily. Something smelled fucking horrible and his face was all damp and slimy, and something was tickling him and driving him insane. He brought his hand up to itch at his face, but he couldn't fucking find it. The fuck? 

It was then that he realised that he was deep into the pits of hell -- or in other words, his face was currently getting aquainted with Ian's hairy, sweaty and god awful smelling arm pit. 

He made a weird yelping sound and tried to dislodge himself from this hell, but he felt something tighten around his neck like a fucking python -- Ian's arm. He began smacking at Ian and whining high in his throat, kicking his legs out.

"Mick?" he heard Ian say sleepily, then his arm loosened and Mickey yanked his face back with a squelch. 

"You fuck!" Mickey screamed, grabbing the bed sheets and wiping depserately at his face, continuing to insult Ian through the fabric. 

"You alright?" Ian asked indifferently, stretching his limbs out with a yawn. 

"AM I ALRIGHT?!" Mickey screamed, snapping his head around. Ian looked genuinely afraid, his green eyes wide. Mickey looked deranged, his hair sticking up in all directions and his face red and blotchy from being rubbed raw -- his left eyelid was even twitching.

"I am the exact fucking opposite of alright, you stupid fucking carrot top!" Mickey screamed, shoving the sheet away and getting up from the bed. He pointed a short tattooed finger at Ian. "I don't give a flying fuck what you think, my ass is NOT as bad as your arm pit -- that thing could kill flowers!"

Ian frowned in confusion, slowly sitting up. "Flowers? Mick, are you feeling okay?"

Mickey bent down for a moment and then suddenly a shoe was flying through the air and hitting Ian right in the face. 

"Fuck you!" Mickey screamed then stormed off to the bathroom, slamming the door and starting the shower, leaving Ian in the bedroom, confused and afraid of his boyfriend.

Summer was the work of the motherfucking devil.

**Author's Note:**

> I feed off all comments.


End file.
